That a post with such a title comes a day after the announcement of the much awaited UPSC Civil Examination results should not make you think that it comes from an unsuccessful candidate.
No. Wait. I have not attempted it even once. You can take back all your consoling remarks (That you must have thought of extending to me after reading the post title) like, "Ohh..never mind. There's always a next time :P"
Clearly, I have not written the exam even once. So, failure or success in terms of UPSC Civila is still in 'distant' future. On the contrary, the aim of this write up is to share with you the 'why' of that distance!
I am a very average person. Believe me. There are certain characteristics of my existence which, if they continue to exist for long, shall erase the whatsoever little possibility of my success in the Civils.
I manage to count on the theory that every job must get candidates that have an instinctive likeness towards and natural ability to perform the job. I-A-S! Wow! I admire the job. Certainly. But the admiration does not prove my ability to handle it!
I must be mistaken in my belief. Not every civil service aspirant is a BORN civil servant. But each such aspirant does go ahead with the planning and preparation and takes the exam. But somehow, I am not convinced that I can do it without the natural inspiration.
I wish to train myself better. Yes, Yes! I will be trained (officially :) :)) once I clear the exams. But there is something that I want to achieve at a more intimate level.
I want to undergo introspection- To speak with my antahkaran before I even fill the form. Okay, you call it a philosophically lame reason. I know. It is. Let's ponder over other significant ones.
The preparation. Let's talk about general awareness.
I am more into darkness of oblivious spheres than under the sun of world
exposure. I do not get things in the first attempt. I have to work hard before I can decipher even the simplest of economic policies and international relations. What is more irritating is despite acknowledging such drawbacks, I never ever aim to work hard! - Get my point? THIS attitude is JUST not done. Is it?
Lastly, why UPSC?
Alright. I want my country to get the best and the most loyal civil servants and I know I will be able to become one, IF I succeed. BUT but but let us understand one thing- Under the effect of such waving inclinations and aspirations, it becomes difficult for me to say "It is UPSC or nothing". Moreover, I do not want to become an IAS just because clearing it at the age of 21-22 old would be so glamorous! Or maybe because my friend is also preparing for it. duh-uh!
I have some other dreams too. Not that UPSC has never been been paid heed to but just that it has only 'been' there for the sake of being.
I have chosen a language as my course at the Undergraduate level of higher education. Tell people it is a language and you have a typical set of replies -"Oh...Then you must go for teaching." "Oh..UPSC (!!) is an option" blah blah.
Teaching? I love it. Teachers form the base of the edifice of a good career. And it would be absolutely wonderful to choose this line :) Civil Service again is a nice option.
But can we for a second get out of the typical mindsets of the career options? I can definitely choose between any of these but that will never change the attitude of the people here towards language and literature! They love it- but only for leisure! Examples of Salman Rushdies and Chetan Bhagat do not help since for many, they could choose to write because they were not typical working class!
I am talking of giving it a serious touch! Taking up any of the aforementioned lines of career will nourish the roots of the stereotypes! Now again, not the entire world will be affected by my contribution to commence to think that language has good to offer even to the common man or aam aadmi. But if I do not do something at my level, I will die dissatisfied!
So, I will surely attempt the much glamorous exam of the nation- But only when I have given myself a taste of introspection and satisfaction ! I want it to be THE DESIRE for me not ONE OF THE DESIRES! -THAT will take time. Won't it?
No. Wait. I have not attempted it even once. You can take back all your consoling remarks (That you must have thought of extending to me after reading the post title) like, "Ohh..never mind. There's always a next time :P"
Clearly, I have not written the exam even once. So, failure or success in terms of UPSC Civila is still in 'distant' future. On the contrary, the aim of this write up is to share with you the 'why' of that distance!
I am a very average person. Believe me. There are certain characteristics of my existence which, if they continue to exist for long, shall erase the whatsoever little possibility of my success in the Civils.
I manage to count on the theory that every job must get candidates that have an instinctive likeness towards and natural ability to perform the job. I-A-S! Wow! I admire the job. Certainly. But the admiration does not prove my ability to handle it!
I must be mistaken in my belief. Not every civil service aspirant is a BORN civil servant. But each such aspirant does go ahead with the planning and preparation and takes the exam. But somehow, I am not convinced that I can do it without the natural inspiration.
I wish to train myself better. Yes, Yes! I will be trained (officially :) :)) once I clear the exams. But there is something that I want to achieve at a more intimate level.
I want to undergo introspection- To speak with my antahkaran before I even fill the form. Okay, you call it a philosophically lame reason. I know. It is. Let's ponder over other significant ones.
The preparation. Let's talk about general awareness.
I am more into darkness of oblivious spheres than under the sun of world
exposure. I do not get things in the first attempt. I have to work hard before I can decipher even the simplest of economic policies and international relations. What is more irritating is despite acknowledging such drawbacks, I never ever aim to work hard! - Get my point? THIS attitude is JUST not done. Is it?
Lastly, why UPSC?
Alright. I want my country to get the best and the most loyal civil servants and I know I will be able to become one, IF I succeed. BUT but but let us understand one thing- Under the effect of such waving inclinations and aspirations, it becomes difficult for me to say "It is UPSC or nothing". Moreover, I do not want to become an IAS just because clearing it at the age of 21-22 old would be so glamorous! Or maybe because my friend is also preparing for it. duh-uh!
I have some other dreams too. Not that UPSC has never been been paid heed to but just that it has only 'been' there for the sake of being.
I have chosen a language as my course at the Undergraduate level of higher education. Tell people it is a language and you have a typical set of replies -"Oh...Then you must go for teaching." "Oh..UPSC (!!) is an option" blah blah.
Teaching? I love it. Teachers form the base of the edifice of a good career. And it would be absolutely wonderful to choose this line :) Civil Service again is a nice option.
But can we for a second get out of the typical mindsets of the career options? I can definitely choose between any of these but that will never change the attitude of the people here towards language and literature! They love it- but only for leisure! Examples of Salman Rushdies and Chetan Bhagat do not help since for many, they could choose to write because they were not typical working class!
I am talking of giving it a serious touch! Taking up any of the aforementioned lines of career will nourish the roots of the stereotypes! Now again, not the entire world will be affected by my contribution to commence to think that language has good to offer even to the common man or aam aadmi. But if I do not do something at my level, I will die dissatisfied!
So, I will surely attempt the much glamorous exam of the nation- But only when I have given myself a taste of introspection and satisfaction ! I want it to be THE DESIRE for me not ONE OF THE DESIRES! -THAT will take time. Won't it?
