Saturday, December 31, 2022

An Optimistic Void

It is the last day of 2022. I am writing this post sitting in the second room. I submitted my Ph.D. thesis a few days back. It feels surreal to know that I finally managed to do it.

However, I have been suffering from bouts of severe stress. The future is unclear. With no job in hand, with no guarantee of a job, with simply no earnings at this point, I feel ashamed of myself and my mind seems to be plunging into despair, a deep void. I feel stuck and depressed. 

2022 has been a mixed year for me. It started with great optimism. I was happy with my work although constantly stressed about completing that Ph.D. 

I also had to leave my job. I left the job I was enjoying so much. The last time I felt such joy was in studying Sanskrit at the bachelor's level. The last time I felt as celebrated as in my job was during LSR and during my relationship. I loved organizing college fests and getting to meet more people. I felt elated when meeting him during his Delhi stays. This job that I lost this year was the second inning of my LSR-like life. 

I managed to briefly reunite with a long-lost love. We parted ways sometime later. I miss him but I guess I am okay. I am sure he will find somebody way better.

I was lost on the Ph.D. front earlier this year. I began the year with no hopes of earning a Ph.D. I submitted it a few days back. What started from death valley peaked at the zenith of lively pleasure. I termed my Ph.D. Pikachu. My Pikachu happened. Wow.

All in all, my year has been a long tiring and mixed one. 

Here's to the hope of finding success in 2023!

Sunday, July 31, 2022

Breaking the long chain of no posts

Exactly Four years ago,  I had written a post on this blog. Strange how things have changed since.

There is a lot going on at work. Will soon post about it. But I hope to be able to do what I want to do soon. May my obstacles not prove to be bigger than I am. 

Till then, thank you for reading and being here. 


Good Night.

Sunday, September 29, 2019

My Old Known...

Comprehension.

Is a tough task.
Especially of things you have never dealt with,
Of people you have never known,
Of destinations you have never visited.

Understanding unseen avenues,
Requires efforts to the core
You need help to establish
That the unknown would become known
And you would rejoice in it
Just as you do the things
You already know

Yet, not knowing something is
Reason enough for saying
"I dont know it yet!",
For who has been able to
fathom deep into
The meanings not seen, not met.

But how do I explain this.
This lack of understanding,
When the unknown is a known
When I knew with surety
That the known was known all

That the argument of no familiarity
Does not hold true,
That the excuse of newness
Is afterall just an excuse

Or so it can be
That this inability
Is not one at all
That which I call new,
Was an old bond lost
 to be recalled;
That mere setbacks can not
Be termed unfathomable comprehensions
That the familiarity has
Always been a thing

For when a truly familiar avenue,
Seems like a destination far
That is when comprehension and patience,
Observe from a corner,
For they know this familiarity comes
From that old bond,
Which is why it is rock strong:
However, when such a bond encounters
A parting by distance,
Takes not long to know and decide
What seems like you have not understood
Is a soul you only have misunderstood.







Sunday, March 3, 2019

From the alleys of sorrow

As I do with most of my creations, I translated this one song a little while ago and forgot that I had even made any such attempt. The lyrics depict the ailing heart of a woman whose love of life is not with her anymore. Though emotions of such magnitude can not be caged within the limits of words, I tried translating this song in a naive attempt to at least make the essence a little fathomable to those unacquainted with the nuances of Hindi.

Thought I should share it here.

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तुम मुझे भूल भी जाओ तो ये हक़ है तुमको,
मेरी बात और है मैंने तो मोहब्बत की है।

Replace me in your memories, rightfully you may, But /In my disparate case, forgetting you shall equal dismay, /For I have a connection that you know of not, /The connection of love that I hold but you do not.

मेरे दिल की मेरे जज़्बात की कीमत क्या है...

My heart and my emotions, /my tangled thoughts and illusions, /are they worthy or not? If so, I ask, they are worth what?/ I yearned for your love, and could you not love me back?/ This all is the value of this confounding question that I ask. /Choose not to respond to this query, rightfully you may, But/ in my disparate case, doing the same to you equals dismay,/ For I have a connection that you know of not,/ The connection of love that I hold but you do not.

ज़िन्दगी सिर्फ़ मोहब्बत नहीं कुछ और भी है...

Life is not merely about love but beyond,/ The heavens of beauties firstly adorned,/ In a world chastised by thirst and hunger,/ Life is not only love but issues quite others,/ Choose to ignore me, rightfully you may, But/ In my disparate case, Doing the same to you equals dismay,/ For I have a connection that you know of not, / The connection of love that I hold but you do not.

तुमको दुनिया के गम-ओ-दर्द...

Worldly sorrows are what you heed everyday,/ So be it that for me not a moment do you spare./ Everybody else is to whom a lover you are / So be it that for me, your love is so distant, so far./ ‘I am yours', the miracle thought, is no less a victory,/ So be it that you are, simply not my destiny./ In your love's conflagration, Choose to let my heart burn,/

तुम मुझे...

Because doing all of this to me, is what rightfully you may, But, O beloved!,/ In my disparate case, doing the same to you equals dismay,/ For I have a connection that you know of not, / The connection of love that I hold but you do not,/ The bondage of love that I hold but you do not.

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Matters that matter

Just finished lunch and came back to my little space that makes me think that I work. My study. 

As I embark upon another journey of if's and but's in my work, I oscillate greatly between my past and my present. It was a few months back that I was struck by the deadly D- Dengue. I hate to be even reminded of it. But even a single flashback of it sends chills down my spine. 

10 days of unbearable pain had me crying like a newborn- wanting to be comforted and fed and comforted again. 

Just as I was discussing this with my family members today, I felt the same pain and agony for a few seconds. For the same duration, the vision of all that occurred during the phase held me hostage and it took a powered effort to drag myself out of the mirage and let the realization of the reality descend. THAT is how draining it was- Even a few seconds of a mere flashback of it caused deep felt horror that haunts me even as I write. A few more hours and I shall have forgotten about it- at least consciously. 

I have known people who have been through worse. I have met prodigies who suffered the worst and yet are doing 'well' as the world perceives them. And it strikes me that it has indeed been wisely said that onscreen can never reflect the offscreen that went into making it. Ultimately, the people who care for you, your dear ones, are the only ones affected. Their prayers transform into your survival. Their tears could have broken you down but it is the love causing them that builds you up. 


Despite the horror of those days, I am alive. And wiser. Stronger than before. Ready to take on certain challenges. To accomplish the targeted. To make those dear and close ones happier. 
So, I proceed. 


Come what may, the rule of life is that it continues. Because whatever may transpire, we acknowledge how important it is to fight back and emerge triumphant. And despite all odds,

We sustain. 

We survive. 



PS: Undergoing a trauma? Fight back. If you give up, nobody is going to care. Get up! Get back! Life is much more than what the naked eyes can see. YOU matter. 

--

Monday, April 9, 2018

Beaming with the aura of myself!

Dedicated to a very special friend who says he looks forward to my posts and that I should write more often. Well, his words are what I look forward to ;) 

I have been writing this blog since college. The followers' list bears testimony to the fact that this place has never had more than 4 readers or even 1 at times. My friends who began writing around the same time have their blogs too that have fetched them 50+ followers. 50 is not a great number for a thing such as "followers' list", but for those down the popularity ladder, it means a lot! :D 

Just as I happened to look my blog up on the web and read a few posts randomly, I asked myself why I never quit writing even when the blog could not achieve the stereotypical 'popularity'; why I found it worthwhile to continue; why I wrote despite the knowledge that there would not be anyone to read it and why I did not choose to maintain a personal diary instead. 

The answer to this was reflected in the blog itself- in the timeline (The list of years indicating the post name and year, found on the right side of the page). I reminisced and the idea of love and productivity struck me. 

The conclusion that is the most apt in my case has been the love for writing and the idea that this love has been the kind that never needed anything but a medium to express itself- which has been very cutely possible through this blog in its own little space. And that is it. The love. Love of doing something. When you love doing something, the love becomes the core driving factor for you to continue doing it. You do not wait for worldly approval, you simply proceed. There is something about love very pure and deep that ascertains the approval from the soul. I found out that my love for writing has been incessant ever since it commenced in the months following my 12th board exams. And that love- pure and deep- has been the reason that I have never stopped writing despite not getting the popularity that is usually desired. And it is this same love that has stayed with me in difficult times. 

The other facet of this love has been the joy of productivity. I realized that among all the years, 2012 was the one in which I wrote the most. 

2012 was the year when I had organized the first ever event of my life as an office bearer of my debating society. Eventually, it also proved to be the year when I won awards for various competitions at the university and college level. I was the happiest that year. Not that the happiness came free- I had worked day and night to achieve certain targets and had managed to face some of the gravest realities of being an exec body member- but the conclusion of each of the 'grave developments' was a serene sense of achievement. And THAT made it beautiful. I made great friends and embraced the idea of sportsmanship deeply. Contrary to this, 2014 has hardly got any posts-one to be exact. It was a turbulent year for me. The turbulence reflects therein. 

Happiness looks for broader accommodation, it inspires humility. When you are happy, you look for ten other people who can know and share it too. You wish to give others the same joy that you have. Better is the pleasure that comes from the sense of being productive, having achieved something, having done something great. That one thing does not look for assurance of there being someone who is 'actually' sharing it or not- you simply proceed with it with the hope that one day there would be one. 
For me personally, the joy of being able to have even one pleased reader is a catalyst (That explains why I loved my friend's words to the core. Those who have read it at times, have further stimulated the process... a big thank you to them! ) 

Sorrow, on the other hand, has often led me to being limited and confined. Melancholy has been meaningful, at times, but not speakable, shareable, ever. That is not to mean that the love for writing goes away- it only becomes dormant, if not incessant. Joy simply rekindles that dormant motivation to mould it into words. 

I feel elated to be able to even think that what goes on in my mind would someday be visible to the eyes. I love the idea of letting my thoughts occupy the digital space-waiting for someone someday to read, cherish and embrace. Meanwhile, the romance with my words keeps me pampered! 

So. Therefore. Hence. In conclusion- my love for sharing, through words, dies never!




PS: Trust me, my friend, your encouragement is invaluable. 

Friday, February 9, 2018

For the love of JNU

Another draft-turned-post from my inbox, just being published today. Also, this was my fb status for the date mentioned. :)
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21.08.2014

The day I published my Convener Report. Exactly Three Years Ago.
Man! I still remember that day when a year of turbulent JNU politics had finally concluded in a peaceful report presentation. Presenting the report only a few days after my 22nd birthday, I was thrilled by the various challenges that a year-long journey had brought me face to face with. A year had seemed no less than a decade. Yet, the realization that all of that had ended finally had brought great relief to my mind. I was still struggling to get out of the 'hangover' of political upheavals faced, but the transformation that had occurred in me was beyond what words can ever describe. And that is why I say that while it is impossible for anyone who learns of JNU through cooked up stories to comprehend the dimensions of its magic, it is only through being here that one realizes how truly special this place can be. Are there challenges? Immense challenges? Undesired elements. YES. Where are they not? JNU has taught me that facing challenges is THE key to solving them. JNU, you are love.
#FourYearOfBeingAtJNU #JNUMeriJaan # OhManIAmAYearOlder

Of JNU politics

JNUSU Elections 2017!

Yaass! After days of intensive campaigning, sloganeering, accusations, recriminations and heated debates, the election journey has finally reached a sound conclusion.  The election season is now almost over in JNU. The Left Unity is now going to lead the Students' Union of JNU- JNUSU 2017-2018. It was a tough fight fought by all the parties/organization! ABVP emerged as the single largest organization on campus. I have no comments to make on the nature of the results and my hopes. The theme of this post is generic. I only wish to wish all the candidates all the very best for the upcoming academic year.

Academics is the core foundation of any University. Our hopes, aspirations and dreams are all nurtured by this wand of magic. Every bit of learning happening within the periphery of campus extends to every aspect of life of its students even in their remotest home towns when they head there during vacations. This is the magic that a University creates. JNU is a live example of how an academic arena transcends beyond boundaries to transform thoughts and ideas located in distant corners of the country. This is what makes life in JNU amazing. The same may hold true for any other academic campus which works towards transforming the lives of those who seek to do so. There is no point in graduating with added credentials on paper if the years of University training could not add to your personality, thought and ideation-capability. It all is based on the academic vigor of the University which is reflected in its curriculum, syllabus, pedagogy and teacher-student compatibility. Academics is, thus, key to the making of a successful campus life.

Having said that, it is important to acknowledge the role that student activism plays in a campus like JNU. When I say a University transforms an individual, I also signal the significance of individual willingness to undergo that transformation for it is such a willingness that acts a catalyst in the process. Student activism is a result of such a willingness only. Activism is just another sobriquet for student politics in JNU.

Activism and Academics must merge at a point if the actual goal is to be attained. When people do miss a point in this, their destination gets lost.
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PS : I wrote this piece immediately after the elections in 2017. Do not remember if this is exactly what I had in mind while beginning, but I found this draft today in my inbox and decided to conclude it by adding the last two lines.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

The beauty of grit...

" 'What' and 'if' are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side by side and they have the power to hold you for the rest of your life. "

These words from Letters to Juliet have touched me ever since I watched the movie for the first time. Towards the end of the movie, Claire reads out the letter that Sophie wrote to her in response to her 'letter to Juliet' fifty years ago. Fifty years later, the response to an ailing heart's appeal was made. Fifty Years! Yes. That is the time it took for Claire's response to reach her. But that it did reach her at the end is what forms the beauty of the story!

Many of us could have the lack of courage to present our deepest melancholy to someone who may easily cause its transformation to relief. It is difficult to express what runs in our minds day and night.

Just like Claire, the dilemma of our lives, too, can lead us into believing that some goals in life are not worth following; that some decisions ought not be taken; that some risks would be better if not taken; that the tiny dollop of courage would not be worth the time; What if the decision goes wrong, What if the gut feeling is nothing more than our mind's manipulation, What if , What if, What if.
This 'What if' is what has, in fact, just like Claire, held us back- from pursuing what could be the most cherished accomplishment of our existence here. While it may prevent us from embarking on that journey of courage that can enable a complete change of our lives, it may also serve as a source of comfort to that lazy bum that does not wish to look beyond the periphery of easy life, the limits of restrictions and the chains of stereotypes.

As I plan on accomplishing yet another goal of my life, about which I shall write very soon, I try to look back and reflect on what it has been that has inspired me to come so far, Why was it that I did not take some decisions while did a few others, where am I leading my life, what is it that I shall accomplish with my existence. Is my life just another life on this planet. Or am I someone a part of the Almighty's Special Task Force.

I reflect. I ponder. I think. I opine. I fail. Yet, I restart the process. For thinking, pondering and then acting in the direction of enlightenment is what, I believe, shall lead me to the goal that I have landed this life for.

Streams of thoughts tend to pose similar threat to my efforts of envisioning a change in the world; of
It is, thus, important that I get rid of all the restrictions that 'What if' has to pose and look into the possibilities that life has to offer.


         Do you remember the last time you had needed to act courageous?



Turning the pages...

I lived another birthday of my life yesterday. Yes, that is how, I believe, birthdays should be marked- lived instead of being celebrated. Living the day that marked the 'official' beginning of respiration and other life processes that are so important to accomplishing that one goal one needs to, in one's life.

As I look forward to another chapter of my life, I feel it important to stop and reflect, introspect and cherish- all that I have had the luck to receive in my life till now. And it is in this wandering that I have lived most of my life. 

By the way, I was really looking forward to extending a BIG 'Thank You!' - To all those who wished me yesterday. I was overwhelmed. That despite no facebook notification, so many people had the memory to wish me on my birthday simply overwhelmed me. Even those who did find it out through some social platform and were kind enough to extend their warm wishes, please accept my deepest regards. Every single word of appreciation and kindness is important to me. Thank You! Each one of you!

So, as I was saying, wandering has been synonymous with my life. It has been a latent constituent of my existence and it was only after it commenced leaving imprints in the form of indecisiveness that I realized its existence.

Have I gained from it? Have I lost anything? God would know. Time shall tell. But for the current moment, I feel like letting the feeling sink in. I really do do want to embrace the very thought of having passed these many years of my life.

This birthday again, I live to do what I need to do the most- Reflect. Introspect. Cherish. <3

                                     Image result for my birthday quote  photo
                                      PC: Google Images

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Sarabhai vs Sarabhai Take Two: The essence that has stayed



Old is Gold, they say. Well, Sarabhai vs Sarabhai Take Two just proved that.

In the early 2000s, when the world was proudly entering the new millennium, here in India, millennials were busy calling it the Y2K (in fact, the Y2K fever had gripped the lingo of the youth). Having been through a major IT revolution, India was still opening to the idea of an all connected network of computers called the Internet. New experiences were being witnessed in different spheres of IT, education, governance, communication including the ever favourite entertainment.
A little prior to this, in the 1980s, the Ramayana of Ramananda Sagar had first created history in the Indian TV viewing experience. Sunday had become the most awaited day of the week. Gradually, genres like comedy, horror and others were mined for improving the experience.
Fast forward to early 2000s, new experiment was again being done to reinvent the magic- except this time, WE, the 1990s-born kiddos were experiencing the magic of these experiments ourselves. We did not have to listen to the stories of the awe that Arun Govil created on screen – we were witnessing our own Sumeet Raghavans ourselves.
None of that magic would have been that impactful had it not been for the artistic geniuses of the directors and production houses that created the lovable content. Be it ‘The Great Indian Comedy Challenge,’ or ‘Khichdi’ or ‘Remix’ or any other show that commenced in that era, our generation – which, by the way, had not crossed the age group of 12-14 years by then- was blissfully witnessing the ‘new content’. TV was influencing our perception of the world, if not defining it completely and thus, the association between the change in age and change in TV content was inherent and inevitable.
It then comes as no surprise that members of the Sarabhai vs Sarabhai fan club were exuberant when the news of the amazing series returning to celluloid was out. Yes, it was a fun moment; it was a fan moment for virtually everyone who had ever witnessed the finesse with which Hats-Off productions weaved magic in the early 2000s through its well-thought plot and comedy, the essence of which has stayed with an entire generation of TV viewers who did not yet have the privilege of watching their dear TV telecasts at the click of a button on YouTube. The best that the viewers of that time had was a repeat telecast which too prevailed only if one had the luck and time to grab the remote control at the exact time. For the deep love for Sarabhai vs Sarabhai, I and many like I am, ensured that even the repeat telecasts were never missed. That explains why we were demanding season reruns or a new season altogether; For us, it was a journey to the good old days, to the times when we were what we can never be again; to relive the days that added to the golden sheen of childhood.
The days, however, would not be relived if the series changed the plot thoroughly and left no points of reference to reflect and connect. Contrary to the expectations of many, Take Two has only slight changes in the storyline and that, in my opinion, is a commendable way of making a comeback. For many, ‘things are as they were,’ is a point of disappointment but for many of us, it is exactly what we had been awaiting. Yet again, many find the series ‘changed very much’. Opinions may and should differ, but the likes of me would agree that the new season is exactly how it should have been.
The excitement with which the show had been awaited had to be matched in the delivery of content and in turn, of its characters. When a series such as Sarabhai makes a comeback, it has a great degree of expectations from the audience to meet for the viewers expect to experience the same magic that had made them fall in love with the previous season. It, then, becomes natural for them to want to meet the characters and the storyline with the same essence and flavour- It is, after all, due to the love for that very essence that the series had achieved the popularity that it did. Who gets nostalgic about the series without quoting Monisha’s “Daddyji, ye nostalgia kaun hai?” said with a naughty grin; without comparing that one gossip friend of their friend circle with the Maya-Sarita duo or the worst poet in a gathering with ‘Kachcha Kela’ 😉 . A good series like Sarabhai traverses from the TV screens into the lives of its viewers just this way. A slight change in the plot, however, does not disturb the poise.
Keeping in line with this theory, Hats Off productions have recreated the connect between the characters and the viewers. JD and Aatish Kapadia, among others, deserve appreciation for being able to keep the flow intact.  As the concept note on their website says – “In this series like its first season, the characters and their idiosyncrasies collide with each other and generate generous dollops of inventive humour.” This collision is what was awaited.
This leads to another point of debate related with the discussion around Sarabhai. Experiencing the class and family conflict is not a rare affair for a lot of us. That said, creating jokes on such stereotypes of conflict indicated, for example, by the famous ‘its-so-middle-class’ phrase could be argued against. But the irony that simply rules out any apprehensions against comedy-on-stereotypes is that the Indian middle class was and is the first audience that the series that got its popularity and love from. Nothing is better than the ability to take jokes on one’s own self and related identity. And may be that is why Maya’s taking a dig at the ‘middle class habits’ does not offend but amuses greatly. None of this humour could have been possible without highlighting class and personal conflicts. In the era of heated debates over who offends and gets offended, the fact that the Indian middle class has so heartedly accepted this wise humour gives great hope.
The new season of Sarabhai vs Sarabhai is, thus, a bliss. The 1990s-born are proud to belong to a generation that has been witnessing the entertainment content become bigger and better with time. We are proud of the Sarabhai team that has recreated the magic without disturbing the poise in the storyline that it had left us with. The plot is amusing and has only left us wanting to have more of the episodes very soon. A major chunk of the audience is awaiting to see more because not watching Sarabhai vs Sarabhai is just so middle-class!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

All India Radio Sanskrit News 3rd January 2017

सम्प्रति वार्ताः श्रूयन्ताम् | प्रवाचिका शगुन-सिन्हा :)


https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B16O--iLH6RrTVgxMmRWYjc3bDg/view?usp=sharing






Thursday, July 2, 2015

The marriage linked to my Alma Mater!

Every third post on my timeline reminds me of the truth that has recently become a nail in the coffin of the love of many a girl, especially of those at LSR, for Shahid Kapoor- that Shahid and Mira are soon going be held by the ties of holy matrimony.

Contrary to girls with popular reaction, I am not at all aggrieved by the news. I am happy. Very happy.

When the news was leaked initially, I was totally convinced that it was a hoax. That somebody had made it all up only to attract people to their web portal/site whatever. But the gradual rise in the confirmation posts on, again, my timeline and Mira's fb fanpage, convinced me otherwise. It took me a little time. But the news finally sunk in.

I have, obviously, not met Shahid. And not watched all of his movies. Ten years back, I liked watching 'Dil Maange More' for the only reason that Ayesha Takia played the role of a girl named Shagun. I loved when the named was called by any of the characters in the movie. That was my second Shahid movie after Ishq Vishq. But like many of us, I loved his performance in Jab We Met. Ever since, I have appreciated his acting skills like an ardent fan.  I have not met Mira either. Only watched few of her 'already-few-available' pictures online. And she seems wonderful. Both look great together.

The theme for this post is highly undecided. But somewhere, I feel, the soon to be held marriage is going to be significant because it is connected to my Alma Mater. How, you ask. Because Mira is from my college. You get it, right?
But after a little of that excitement, why am I so happy about the marriage of a girl from my college? No. It is not because the husband-to-be is the the glamorous Shahid. He is great! But the reasons for that particular sense of euphoria are beyond comprehension. Even for me. I have no clue. But every time I look up to the news, the same sense of mutual connection strikes me. I feel elated.

And then I realize that may be, it is because of college. I am reminded of the fun. I wish to go back. I wish I could relive those three years that Mira has just completed. May be, it is not about Shahid-Mira wedding at all. It is only about the desire to lend an ear to the news of a girl who is one amongst the many girls who have just finished being embraced by the magic of the three grand letters- just the way I had been, two years back.
And may be thats why, I am all the more eager for the marriage.

Shahid-Mira, Thank You!! A divine feeling of jubilationb fills me as I write about my school and college. For the fear of redundancy, I had almost escaped that on this blog. But you two made me revisit the avenue. Wish you both a very happy life!

Saturday, June 13, 2015

YouTube Shyu-Tube Haye rabba!

What can compete with the IRCTC website in terms of generating immense irritation?

Well, the YouTube adverstisements! Especially those that come without a skip button.


Yes. You guessed it right. YouTube is a constant in my experiences of web-exploration. In fact, it is visible on one of the many tabs that have currently occupied the title bar of my browser.

This era of digital revolution has made access to information so easy. Online videos, Inspirational lectures are a few of the many sources of the miraculous access. You wish to listen to something and here you go! It is on your computer screen in seconds! And when the mood or inclination to finish a task amplifies, no power can disrupt it- Except that one ad.
The 30 second-long-ad seems like a 30-hour-long-one, thanks to the uninteresting content. I mean money and stuff- I can comprehend it but do these video owners not watch those videos on the web themselves? Or do they have any mechanism by which they skip the ads during their own watch duration?

That ad is the one that, which when commences to play, makes you re-think. Rethink if that mood still persists. Rethink if you would watch what you had wanted or skip to writing a blog post about your concern with the way these ads are becoming a source of income for those channels and of your irritation!

The age of digital modernisation places e-customer satisfaction amongst one of the components of, again, e-success. And it is during the first 30 seconds of those YouTube videos that this 'idea' of customer satisfaction faces an absolute paradox.

So, dear YT, Maggie is already unavailable. Please act mature!



Sunday, October 26, 2014

Back after a long time...

After a series of unforgettable regrets, anticipatory problems and anxieties, I dare to write this post today.

For my fellow members at the center, its the beginning of a new semester. For me, its the end of a year. A very disastrous year I  must say, the story of which I will explain later. But I have to confess that this one year has taught me GRAVE DETAILS about life, of self-importance, family, self-pride and most importantly, politics.

Ever since my third year undergraduate study at LSR, JNU has been the postgraduate dream destination. In February 2013, I had visited the Convention Centre for a training. The Special Centre for Sanskrit Studies lies slightly opposite to the CC. Everyday, before departing from the Conference, I  would admiringly notice the Sign board that points towards my Sanskrit Centre. The very thought of the existence of the Centre gave me goosebumps. "Will I be able to make it to being here?", "How tough shall the Entrance be?", "I have to be here! A Sanskrit heaven it must be!" Months later, I realised, my Centre is as amazing as I had thought it would be. The JNU campus, too, is beautiful. Adjusting to this campus took time.

LSR is a great College. In three years, it brought ground breaking changes in me. Management, Leadership all were inculcated in me in those three years. When I got out, I realised that I did have those qualities that would enable me to become a good manager. In whichever field required. But the Realities were far from what was hoped.

JNU is indeed  good. But somewhere, there is something I have experienced entirely different and unique.
The people, their thinking- everything seems like a world-NEVER seen before. I have a friend from DU who is my current classmate and a very close friend. In the beginning, we used to discuss things that we learnt at our previous university. Those were good days back then.

My Centre and Sanskrit seem to be the only sources of relief at times, Teachers teach fabulously here. And that is one amongst the many reasons why I have still stuck to the place.

Well, life goes on. Which University I shall be going to for my M.Phil still remains a futuristic surprise. Till then, I hope I become regular in my posts from now on. I have MUCH to share!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

When what you eschew happens...

In primary school, my teachers never failed to bring revision paper weeks before the Term exam. We were made to learn the same thing again and again. I was always burdened with the task of learning the most hated '2 ka table' in my second standard. Again,  I would memorize Vowels but come the new session and I would miss an I or U. My teacher would make the entire class learn it-- Revise it! I wanted to learn new things with new class. It was not before the sixth standard that new things actually became synonymous with new class. But the repetition of lessons never made sense to me. Years later, it does! 

Phew! DU Entrance happened today. And I feel relaxed- It is a temporary chhutti from the pressure of the mental rigmarole  "Oh my! I have to study!" and actually making sure that the 'Have to study; never transforms to 'Have Studied'.

The theme of this post is redundant. I have always complained about my irregularity and procrastination. And I believe I shall always be doing so. But today, in the process of the redundancy,  I have something good to elaborate.

Did you know that Acharya Valmiki's Ramayana is also known as Chaturvimshati-Saahasri-Samhita? 'चतुर्विंशतिसाहस्रीसंहिता'? Well, Yes! The term means 'composed of twenty four thousand verses!' Ramayana composed by Maharishi Valmiki has twenty four thousand verses- as many verses as there are aksharas in the Gayatri. Sadly, I should have remembered it few hours back.

The entrance question paper contained this question.  I got horribly confused between Ramayana and Mahabharata for the simplest reason that Mahabharata is known as 'ShataSahasriSamhita'- 'शतसाहस्रीसंहिता' i.e., 'the one with a hundred thousand or a lakh verses!'- Sounds similar, no?

It was an easy catch. I could have ticked the correct  answer. But I did not.
When the answer struck me, it was two hours past the moment I left the examination hall.
All in all, I am still filled with the guilt of having ticked a wrong answer when I actually knew it was wrong!

Anyway, it is done now. I can hardly do anything about it. But the one thing I could manage to learn today was why revision is indeed a human need.

I had learnt all the facts of the 'History of Laukik Samskrit Literature'. 
And till last year, I had remembered them well. But today, it was a mistake not having revised them!

We all know a lot may things. If a subject has been carved on our hearts, we well may not require re-learn it but lets face it not every subject is the one we could die for. And in each such case, Revision becomes a necessity. Consistency in revision is a must. There is some reason why after five long years of revised learning in the primary school, I remember the Alphabets so well now. Yes! Revision can do miracles. Not Rattafication but the real revision. It eventually untangles certain doubts too!

So, while I ponder over my stupidity, I take a quick break to realize that I must go and revise :)

PS: This post deals with the usual problem found with usual 'students'... usually. Others, please keep away!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Six yards of magic...

Okay! So, I am out of the Civils-not-my-cup-of-tea syndrome! Yeeah! Not talking the way I did previously! At least for a while.

As usual, I have no idea why I am writing today. I am this lost almost always. So, I really should not become an IAS officer. That really would harm the society...Okay oops oops! No IAS talks today.

I have a new feeling to share. Transition!
I never had even the slightest idea that I would study at a Women's College. Had always been in a Co-Ed school and so, boys were almost always the 'better-half ;)' of my education. And then, Under-graduation happened! As a girl, I have found myself to be one of the luckiest people to have been a part of MY college. Everything here is celebrated and enjoyed. You are loved for being yourself. And it was here only that I realised that despite the existence of many attractive and loved aspirations, being able to drape a Sari well is always a deeply-wished-dream come true!

There are different  emotions that are unique to each of the sexes. I do not know if having the first cigarette or getting a new car really excites guys but believe me! an Indian girl will always be the most pleased to wear a Sari!

Again, I cannot say it for all the girls yes, but for me, it is a subtle truth. The magic and strength of those six yards of a fabric of my choice can actually arouse the hysteria in me. I always look out for occasions that are even the least apt to sport a beautiful Sari on.
At times, I wonder if it really is the hysteria that inspires me or something else. And then once, I concluded that the rectangular fabric is not just any attire- for me, its an attire of transition
I feel the lady in me. Yes! When I drape a Sari, I feel the transition in me -- from a girl to a lady.
It makes me feel pretty ;) I realise that it is important to make one's own self feel pretty before one can expect the world to feel so about one.

So, this post stands dedicated to those multiple yards- to the magic...to the transition..

 ...ahem! I am a lady!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Why UPSC is a distant dream for me...

That a post with such a title comes a day after the announcement of the much awaited UPSC Civil Examination results should not make you think that it comes from an unsuccessful candidate.
No. Wait. I have not attempted it even once. You can take back all your consoling remarks (That you must have thought of extending to me after reading the post title) like, "Ohh..never mind. There's always a next time :P"

Clearly, I have not written the exam even once. So, failure or success in terms of UPSC Civila is still in 'distant' future. On the contrary, the aim of this write up is to share with you the 'why' of that distance!

I am a very average person. Believe me. There are certain characteristics of my existence which, if they continue to exist for long, shall erase the whatsoever little possibility of my success in the Civils.

I manage to count on the theory that every job must get candidates that have an instinctive likeness towards and natural ability to perform the job. I-A-S! Wow! I admire the job. Certainly. But the admiration does not prove my ability to handle it!

I must be mistaken in my belief. Not every civil service aspirant is a BORN civil servant. But each such aspirant does go ahead with the planning and preparation and takes the exam. But somehow, I am not convinced that I can do it without the natural inspiration.

I wish to train myself better. Yes, Yes! I will be trained (officially :) :)) once I clear the exams. But there is something that I want to achieve at a more intimate level.
I want to undergo introspection- To speak with my antahkaran before I even fill the form. Okay, you call it a philosophically lame reason. I know. It is. Let's ponder over other significant ones.

The preparation. Let's talk about general awareness.
I am more into darkness of oblivious spheres than under the sun of world
exposure. I do not get things in the first attempt. I have to work hard before I can decipher even the simplest of economic policies and international relations. What is more irritating is despite acknowledging such drawbacks, I never ever aim to work hard! - Get my point? THIS attitude is JUST not done. Is it?

Lastly, why UPSC?
Alright. I want my country to get the best and the most loyal civil servants and I know I will be able to become one, IF I succeed. BUT but but let us understand one thing- Under the effect of such waving inclinations and aspirations, it becomes difficult for me to say "It is UPSC or nothing". Moreover, I do not want to become an IAS just because clearing it at the age of 21-22 old would be so glamorous! Or maybe because my friend is also preparing for it. duh-uh!

I have some other dreams too. Not that UPSC has never been been paid heed to but just that it has only 'been' there for the sake of being.
I have chosen a language as my course at the Undergraduate level of higher education. Tell people it is a language and you have a typical set of replies -"Oh...Then you must go for teaching." "Oh..UPSC (!!) is an option" blah blah.

Teaching? I love it. Teachers form the base of the edifice of a good career. And it would be absolutely wonderful to choose this line :) Civil Service again is a nice option.
But can we for a second get out of the typical mindsets of the career options? I can definitely choose between any of these but that will never change the attitude of the people here towards language and literature! They love it- but only for leisure! Examples of Salman Rushdies and Chetan Bhagat do not help since for many, they could choose to write because they were not typical working class!

I am talking of giving it a serious touch! Taking up any of the aforementioned lines of career will nourish the roots of the stereotypes! Now again, not the entire world will be affected by my contribution to commence to think that language has good to offer even to the common man or aam aadmi. But if I do not do something at my level, I will die dissatisfied!

So, I will surely attempt the much glamorous exam of the nation- But only when I have given myself a taste of introspection and satisfaction ! I want it to be THE DESIRE for me not ONE OF THE DESIRES! -THAT will take time. Won't it?

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Love..Family... And realisation :)

It feels great. To be of some use to some people. No?

When you visit a dear one who had been hospitalized not a very long time back, you have grief but when you come to know that your visit was a good reason for their seconds' pleasure, you feel great. I guess, that is why I have this wow feeling. I feel nice. I am not happy that she had to undergo so much pain. That makes my heart sink. But my visit could bring a smile on her face- what else could I have wished for her in such times?

I really really want her to 'Get Well Soon'- That is what my Card said- That is what I had wanted to say.
Some arguments happened- Not  very long ago...And I thought she must have carried them in her heart even now...Unaware that for her 'now',  worldly fights hold negligible importance- You need love...More love and only love...For when in family, Love is the highly treasured commodity- yes! Commodity...You trade it..trade it for love...only love and comfort :)

Love your family. Always. Fights are only entertainers...Important are they for they prove your being a human...BUT! .....They must not become hurdles when you are talking of..yes! Family :)